Every year in Columbus, Ohio the Franklin Park Conservatory and Botanical Garden has an exhibit called "Blooms and Butterflies." Throughout the spring and summer, every afternoon they release newly emerged exotic butterflies into the botanical garden. A butterfly expert introduces each new species to an audience.
Don't get fooled by the name, Slick. There might be some blooms and there might be some butterflies but these ain't your grandma's botanical exhibit. Fuck your grandma. I went to her botanical exhibit last year and it was a load of shit.
The main reason this exhibit was so much more bad ass than that of your cunt grandma was because of Mr. Butterfly Chris. Just look at this guy. He looks like the kind of guy you don't want to piss off at a bar cuz he'll beat your ass with a pool stick. But really he's the kind of guy who frolics arounds Ohio catching butterflies with a net. The kind of guy your grandma doesn't want to piss off because he makes a delightful high tea.
Anyway, enough about your slut grandma, we were lucky enough to interview Butterfly Chris.
Fave Color: Blue followed closely by pink for no reason
Fave Butterfly: None in here, believe it or not. There’s a group of small butterflies called hair streaks and they’re about the size of your thumbnail. Their color scheme is orange and blue spotting.
The most cool thing about them is their bizarre relationship with ants. Hair streak caterpillars become pupa (or, disgusting word warning, pupate) in ant hills and the ants protect them. But once it becomes an actual butterfly it has very little time before the ants turn on it. I think that’s cool.
What’s your favorite color fact about butterflies: The relationship with butterflies and color is best exemplified through the idea of mimicry. Here we are a Pipeline Swallowtail butterfly and it is toxic. It’s neon blue at the edge of its wings. That’s how predators know not to eat it otherwise they will die. But, other edible butterflies what that same color scheme are also saved from predators. Birds learn not to eat that color scheme so color can literally save a butterfly’s life.
It should be noted that we didn't make up the name Butterfly Chris. His friends (and probably your grandma) actually call him Butterfly Chris. Can you imagine being so into your job that it's actually a part of your name? Like "Mattress Salesman Randy Mancini" or "President Barack Obama." I guess that last one isn't that weird.