New Hampshire might be the greatest tourist destination in the continental United States. If you’re an inexperienced traveller, it probably feels like there is just too much to see and do! How could anyone navigate the rollercoaster ride of sea shores, mountain peaks, colonial history and fall foliage that New Hampshire has to offer?
Well rest easy because we at Pantomerica have narrowed it all down into one concise and easy-to-navigate list of the top ten things to do in the Granite State. So whether you love shopping at Goodwill or hanging out at Aunt Diane’s house, we’ve got all your tourism needs covered. Just keep reading and try not to have too much fun!! (pro tip: you’re probably going to have too much fun) (pro pro tip: it will probably be when you get to Aunt Diane’s house)
1. The Goodwill On Lafayette Road In Portsmouth
Don’t be intimidated by this Goodwill because it’s in New Hampshire. It’s just like every other Goodwill, except its in New Hampshire! You will probably be asked to not take pictures inside (or maybe that was just us), but look how much fun we had in the parking lot with a not-so-new blow up cactus! No need to waste your time with Lake Winnipesaukee, theres a whole ocean’s worth of goodies to find here. (Seriously though reserve all flash photography for the parking lot) (Seriously seriously though the parking lot is great take lots of pictures)
2. Aunt Diane's House
Did you come to New Hampshire to see the splendid array of colors found in the fall foliage? Forget about it! Just go to Aunt Diane's house and see the splendid array of colors found in her home decorating skills. Trust us, we have a color blog.
So there you have it. Whether it's the Goodwill on Lafayette Road or Aunt Diane's house, be sure to take in everything New Hampshire has to offer!
People said there's nothing to do in Iowa. They said it and we believed them. What idiots they all were.
We stumbled across the Grotto of the Redemption in West Bend, Iowa. Some time in the early 1900's, Father Paul Dobberstein promised Jesus that if he survived pneumonia, he'd built a shrine made completely out of rocks, minerals and crystals. Spoiler alert: he survived (if you want to avoid spoilers, don't go on the internet, man).
He spent 42 years building the shrine and today it is the largest collection of precious stones found in one location. In fact, it is estimated to value $4 million dollars. To put that in perspective, that's more than Celebrity Apprentice's Omarosa and 30 Rock's Judah Friedlander have combined.
(Editor's Note: though 4 million dollars is quite a large sum, it's only a 10th of Frankie Muniz's net worth. I guess it should really be called "Malcolm In The 1 Percent," huh? What's happening to America's middle class, guys?! Open your eyes, America. Real Eyes Realize Real Lies).
With walls made out of agate, amethyst, azurite and more, we found nearly all 60 of our colors here.
They said there would be nothing to do in Iowa.
... What rocks were they smoking?
Our gracious host / Maggie's godmother / Queen of the Desert Patti Rollins begged us (BEGGED US!) not to visit the Salton Sea. Actually, in her words, she said "let's talk about how you're not really going to the Salton Sea." When we insisted on going, she then asked us not to smell bad upon our return. That's how intense this place is.
The Salton Sea was a failed resort area in the Californian desert. For a whole slew of reasons, the fish in the sea GOT DEAD and now the beaches are mostly crushed fish bones.
For real. See that glorious beach pictured above? See that exotic white sand? That's not white sand. That's pulverized fish carcasses. That's literally dead bodies. And it comes with the smell to boot.
In case you stepped into this beautiful bright banana cabana and forgot that you were not on the Riviera, there is a gently used pair of underwear lying on the floor next to you. That's the Salton Sea style.