PANTOMERICA

Seeking Color In The US

Color 43

Amish or Armani?

Color 7, Color 2, Color 59, Color 45, Color 19, Color 21, Color 23, Color 42, Color 43, Color 44Maggie OwensComment

At the risk of sounding stupid, we genuinely thought Amish country would be inexpensive. We came rolling in, thinking “these people don’t even watch Netflix. I’ve been pretending to watch Grace and Frankie for two full years now. We city folk are gonna clean them out of their quilts before they knew what hit them.” 

It turns out, hand-stitched, one-of-a-kind pieces of art are expensive. Like really expensive, guys. You’d think someone who would have no qualms spending 16 dollars on "farm-to-table" guacamole, even if it was at an Quizno's (especially if it was at a Quizno's?), would’ve expected this. But we were shocked!

If all of this makes us sound ignorant, it’s because we were fucking ignorant. We’re not ashamed to say we knew little about what goes on in Lancaster County until actually visiting Lancaster County. That’s the point of traveling, buttmunch — to become less ignorant. Now go find a Jezebel article on feline genital mutilation you can tear apart. 

Anyway, even from the fabrics alone, you can tell from the unique patterns and painstaking details just how special these textiles are. And, because special = expensive, you can probably guess how many actual quilts we walked away with. It rhymes with hero (which is also something we would order from Quizno's). 

We could afford zero quilts. All the same, it was exciting to even see the quilts and fabrics up close. 

Amish or Armani? Judging from the price tag, it's pretty damn hard to tell. 

Tripping On IOWAska

Color 53, Color 52, Color 51, Color 36, Color 37, Color 34, Color 44, Color 43Maggie OwensComment

People said there's nothing to do in Iowa. They said it and we believed them. What idiots they all were. 

We stumbled across the Grotto of the Redemption in West Bend, Iowa. Some time in the early 1900's, Father Paul Dobberstein promised Jesus that if he survived pneumonia, he'd built a shrine made completely out of rocks, minerals and crystals. Spoiler alert: he survived (if you want to avoid spoilers, don't go on the internet, man).

He spent 42 years building the shrine and today it is the largest collection of precious stones found in one location. In fact, it is estimated to value $4 million dollars. To put that in perspective, that's more than Celebrity Apprentice's Omarosa and 30 Rock's Judah Friedlander have combined.

(Editor's Note: though 4 million dollars is quite a large sum, it's only a 10th of Frankie Muniz's net worth. I guess it should really be called "Malcolm In The 1 Percent," huh? What's happening to America's middle class, guys?! Open your eyes, America. Real Eyes Realize Real Lies).

With walls made out of agate, amethyst, azurite and more, we found nearly all 60 of our colors here. 

They said there would be nothing to do in Iowa. 

... What rocks were they smoking?