Seeking Color In The US


Amish or Armani?

Color 7, Color 2, Color 59, Color 45, Color 19, Color 21, Color 23, Color 42, Color 43, Color 44Maggie OwensComment

At the risk of sounding stupid, we genuinely thought Amish country would be inexpensive. We came rolling in, thinking “these people don’t even watch Netflix. I’ve been pretending to watch Grace and Frankie for two full years now. We city folk are gonna clean them out of their quilts before they knew what hit them.” 

It turns out, hand-stitched, one-of-a-kind pieces of art are expensive. Like really expensive, guys. You’d think someone who would have no qualms spending 16 dollars on "farm-to-table" guacamole, even if it was at an Quizno's (especially if it was at a Quizno's?), would’ve expected this. But we were shocked!

If all of this makes us sound ignorant, it’s because we were fucking ignorant. We’re not ashamed to say we knew little about what goes on in Lancaster County until actually visiting Lancaster County. That’s the point of traveling, buttmunch — to become less ignorant. Now go find a Jezebel article on feline genital mutilation you can tear apart. 

Anyway, even from the fabrics alone, you can tell from the unique patterns and painstaking details just how special these textiles are. And, because special = expensive, you can probably guess how many actual quilts we walked away with. It rhymes with hero (which is also something we would order from Quizno's). 

We could afford zero quilts. All the same, it was exciting to even see the quilts and fabrics up close. 

Amish or Armani? Judging from the price tag, it's pretty damn hard to tell. 

Top 10 Things to Do in New Hamphire

Color 40, Color 6, Color 12, Color 15, Color 10, Color 24, Color 53Maggie OwensComment

New Hampshire might be the greatest tourist destination in the continental United States.  If you’re an inexperienced traveller, it probably feels like there is just too much to see and do!  How could anyone navigate the rollercoaster ride of sea shores, mountain peaks, colonial history and fall foliage that New Hampshire has to offer? 

Well rest easy because we at Pantomerica have narrowed it all down into one concise and easy-to-navigate list of the top ten things to do in the Granite State.  So whether you love shopping at Goodwill or hanging out at Aunt Diane’s house, we’ve got all your tourism needs covered.  Just keep reading and try not to have too much fun!! (pro tip: you’re probably going to have too much fun) (pro pro tip: it will probably be when you get to Aunt Diane’s house)


1. The Goodwill On Lafayette Road In Portsmouth

Don’t be intimidated by this Goodwill because it’s in New Hampshire.  It’s just like every other Goodwill, except its in New Hampshire!  You will probably be asked to not take pictures inside (or maybe that was just us), but look how much fun we had in the parking lot with a not-so-new blow up cactus!  No need to waste your time with Lake Winnipesaukee, theres a whole ocean’s worth of goodies to find here.  (Seriously though reserve all flash photography for the parking lot) (Seriously seriously though the parking lot is great take lots of pictures)


2. Aunt Diane's House

Did you come to New Hampshire to see the splendid array of colors found in the fall foliage?  Forget about it! Just go to Aunt Diane's house and see the splendid array of colors found in her home decorating skills.  Trust us, we have a color blog.  

Who needs Autumn beauty with bathroom wallpaper like this!?

Who needs Autumn beauty with bathroom wallpaper like this!?

Don't fall into a tourist trap!  Just take it easy on Aunt Diane's couch.

Don't fall into a tourist trap!  Just take it easy on Aunt Diane's couch.

Flash photography totally welcome. 

Flash photography totally welcome. 

So there you have it.  Whether it's the Goodwill on Lafayette Road or Aunt Diane's house, be sure to take in everything New Hampshire has to offer!

How To Antique In New England

Maggie Owens1 Comment

In Ellsworth, ME, Cecilia, Matt (her boyfriend), Maggie and actor Channing Tatum (her boyfriend) decided to go antiquing at the Big Chicken Barn Books & Antiques. It was such a success, we thought we'd create a user-friendly guide on how to properly antique in Maine. Enjoy, guys!

Step 1. Spot The Difference Between "Crunk" And "Junk"

While NEITHER of these super awesome Beanie Babies actually qualifies as "junk," it is indisputable that Diana, the purple Beanie Baby, is, in industry terms, "crunker." How can you tell how crunk Diana is? She's a Princess Diana-inspired, limited-edition sexy young thing that is "hot to trot."

Now, that's another industry term — "hot to trot." Essentially, if you have any sexual feelings towards your antique, it is what we call "hot to trot." Remember: get consent.

Because she's so damn sexy, has an on-going Counterfeit Alert for Diana. They commented, "Note: It is possible for a Princess itself to be authentic but to have a counterfeit/replacement ribbon and/or counterfeit swing tag." That brings us to our second point.


2. Know When Something Is Counterfeit

Fortunately for us we are experienced New England Antiquers and we know the difference between a crunk Diana and some junk Diarrhea. 


3. Go Into The Antique Shop Knowing What You Want

Listen, not all that glitters is gold. Antiques can't all be flashy-flashy like this Jodie Foster biography. Sometimes, you know you're far more interested in an unauthorized biography of country singer Shania Twain. Sorry, Jody, to quote Twain, "that don't impress me much."

4. ...And What You're Willing To Do To Get It

To quote Shania again, "I'm Gonna Getcha Good!*"

*in reference to the unauthorized biography about herself

5. Last And Least, Have Fun!

I know, I know. Antiquing isn't all fun and games. But, besides that, it's all fun and games! Let your hair down, Channing Tatum. Stop screaming at me when I try to kiss you! It's not my fault you're so hot to trot. 

Sorry, off-topic. Anyways, even though your antiques are fragile and expensive, that doesn't mean you can't take them out for a spin and show your new, crunk friends how to party (or, to quote Shania Twain, "party for two!") 

Antiquing should make you happy and happy people are hot to trot!

Antiquing should make you happy and happy people are hot to trot!

Ooo, emo!

Ooo, emo!