PANTOMERICA

Seeking Color In The US

sandwiches

Amish or Armani?

Color 7, Color 2, Color 59, Color 45, Color 19, Color 21, Color 23, Color 42, Color 43, Color 44Maggie OwensComment

At the risk of sounding stupid, we genuinely thought Amish country would be inexpensive. We came rolling in, thinking “these people don’t even watch Netflix. I’ve been pretending to watch Grace and Frankie for two full years now. We city folk are gonna clean them out of their quilts before they knew what hit them.” 

It turns out, hand-stitched, one-of-a-kind pieces of art are expensive. Like really expensive, guys. You’d think someone who would have no qualms spending 16 dollars on "farm-to-table" guacamole, even if it was at an Quizno's (especially if it was at a Quizno's?), would’ve expected this. But we were shocked!

If all of this makes us sound ignorant, it’s because we were fucking ignorant. We’re not ashamed to say we knew little about what goes on in Lancaster County until actually visiting Lancaster County. That’s the point of traveling, buttmunch — to become less ignorant. Now go find a Jezebel article on feline genital mutilation you can tear apart. 

Anyway, even from the fabrics alone, you can tell from the unique patterns and painstaking details just how special these textiles are. And, because special = expensive, you can probably guess how many actual quilts we walked away with. It rhymes with hero (which is also something we would order from Quizno's). 

We could afford zero quilts. All the same, it was exciting to even see the quilts and fabrics up close. 

Amish or Armani? Judging from the price tag, it's pretty damn hard to tell. 

Indiana Eats

Maggie OwensComment

This, guys, is Indiana's state sandwich, the pork tenderloin. It's a deep-fried piece of pork, 3 times the size I thought pigs actually could grow to be, smushed in between two buns. They got the enormous pork patty but still put it in between two normal-sized buns? It's like each line cook in Indiana is like "yah just figure it out for yourself. asshole."

Speaking of "figuring it out for yourself," might we suggest pairing this colossal beast of a sandwich with a side of two grilled cheeses and a hamburger patty? That's what we did and it was simply divine. 

Mmm... what a pairing. It hit all the right notes. 

Thank you Indiana for the indigestion. 

Here's To Your Health

Color 28Maggie OwensComment

Even though we didn't "technically" bring a tent or "technically" pack any clothing for extreme weather (such as mild rain) or "technically" learn how to drive or "technically" ever find out where "Arkansas" is,  we did prioritize one thing: sandwiches. We studied sandwiches by each state well before we left for this trip. 

Arizona's signature sandwich isn't "technically" as sandwich at all. It's a mutha-fucking ASS WOOPING BOOTY-POPPING PILL POPPING QUESTION-POPPING PRINGLES-POPPIN MARY-POPPIN hot POPPIN DOG. 

... I'm sorry. We are writing this very late at night. You "technically" shouldn't be reading this for your health. 

Anyway, it's the Sonoran hot dog. We searched for hours in the desert for this mythical hot dog. Technically, it would've been easiest to find in Tucson but we weren't "technically" talking to one another when were there. So, with mere hours before we reached the New Mexico border, we had to find this jaw-dropping popcorn-chicken-poppin hot dog. 

Here are the ingredients: 

We would show you a picture of the Sonoran Hot Dog we found. It was truly delicious. But... we were starved when we finally find it in the town of Eloy, AZ so before we could take a photo of it, we had already eaten it. Plus, tensions were still high. We won't "technically" get into the "technicalities" of our fight but it can be summarized by saying Ceil is more than "technically" a bitch. 

We did however take a picture of an awesome sign we saw in Eloy.

here's to your heatlh3.jpg

I didn't expect to cheers to my health with a hot dog wrapped in bacon and drenched with refried beans. But, then again, we also didn't expect to ever speak to each other ever again. So, thanks, Arizona. Here's to your health!