PANTOMERICA

Seeking Color In The US

musuems

Gettin' Artsy Fartsy in Baltimore

Maggie OwensComment

Baltimore is the home of one of the best museums we have ever been to. The American Visionary Art Museum houses work by boundary-pushing, self-taught American artists. I would love to go into an elaborate review of everything this museum has to offer, but what would be the point when the review, below, says it all? 

There’s no need to be redundant here.  This five-star rating really captures our entire experience, if by “son” you mean Ceil, and by “fart machine” you mean a literal fart machine.  

Butterfly Chris

Maggie OwensComment

Every year in Columbus, Ohio the Franklin Park Conservatory and Botanical Garden has an exhibit called "Blooms and Butterflies." Throughout the spring and summer, every afternoon they release newly emerged exotic butterflies into the botanical garden.  A butterfly expert introduces each new species to an audience.  

Seen at the Blooms And Butterflies exhibit

Seen at the Blooms And Butterflies exhibit

Don't get fooled by the name, Slick. There might be some blooms and there might be some butterflies but this ain't your grandma's botanical exhibit. Fuck your grandma. I went to her botanical exhibit last year and it was a load of shit. 

The main reason this exhibit was so much more badass than that of your cunt grandma was because of Mr. Butterfly Chris. Just look at this guy. He looks like the kind of guy you don't want to piss off at a bar cuz he'll beat your ass with a pool stick. But really he's the kind of guy who frolics arounds Ohio catching butterflies with a net. The kind of guy your grandma doesn't want to piss off because he makes a delightful high tea guest. 

Anyway, enough about your slut grandma, we were lucky enough to interview Butterfly Chris. 

Fave Color: Blue followed closely by pink for no reason

Fave Butterfly: None in here, believe it or not. There’s a group of small butterflies called hair streaks and they’re about the size of your thumbnail.

Their color scheme is orange and blue spotting. The most cool thing about them is their bizarre relationship with ants. Hair streak caterpillars become pupa (or, disgusting word warning, pupate) in ant hills and the ants protect them. But once it becomes an actual butterfly it has very little time before the ants turn on it. I think that’s cool. 

Seen at the Blooms And Butterflies exhibit

Seen at the Blooms And Butterflies exhibit

What’s your favorite color fact about butterflies: The relationship with butterflies and color is best exemplified through the idea of mimicry. Here we are a Pipeline Swallowtail butterfly and it is toxic. It’s neon blue at the edge of its wings. That’s how predators know not to eat it otherwise they will die. But, other edible butterflies what that same color scheme are also saved from predators. Birds learn not to eat that color scheme so color can literally save a butterfly’s life. 

It should be noted that we didn't make up the name Butterfly Chris. His friends (and probably your grandma) actually call him Butterfly Chris. Can you imagine being so into your job that it's actually a part of your name? Like "Mattress Salesman Randy Mancini" or "President Barack Obama." I guess that last one isn't that weird. 

Fun Day Trip Into Kentucky

Color 60Maggie OwensComment

On our drive from Indiana to Ohio, we were pleasantly surprised to find out that Kentucky was a 20 minute detour away. ("INDIANA AND KENTUCKY TOUCH?"  two of us asked. One was a beanie baby. The other was Ceil). Being the carefree indie girl Lana Del Reys that you know we are, we were all "fuck it. let's go to Kentucky."

We could have spent a day of natural splendor at the Daniel Boone National Forest but... hiking? Nature? BOONE THERE DONE THAT. So, being the intellectual Lana Del Reys that you know we are, we spent the day at the museum. The Creation Museum. As in Creationists. As in dinosaurs died in Noah's Flood Creationists.

Things when from 0 to Kentucky real fast. 

... Me neither, Timmy. Me neither. 

Here we found Adam and Eve bathing. All the while we're paying for their god damn original sin by being at this terrifying museum. 

Okay, over-sexaulized wax figures of Adam lookin' like Wilmer Valderrama are one thing but what the what the hell is this? We don't even know what this exhibit was supposed to be about. Shit was getting scary and I think we blacked out.  

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Seriously, guys, we blacked out. We honestly may have tagged this wall. Or maybe it was part of the exhibit. There's no way to know. Whatever. 

Don't worry about it, man. We're not picking up what you're putting down. 

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Umm... I guess this is the part where we're supposed to color match things? Maybe? Kinda? God I'm so confused and scared. 

^^^Maggie at the Creation Museum. 

So, keeping with the Old Testament theme, here's a picture of the two of us as the distraught, sad girl Lana Del Reys that you know we were that day, cast forever out of Kentucky. 

Tinkertown, New Mexico

Color 51, Color 30, Color 25, Color 24Maggie OwensComment

If you ever find yourself driving down New Mexico State Road 14, there are two things you need to know: 

1. The locals call it the turquoise trail so seriously, guys, be cool. Don’t be all uncool. (Ceil wants to say “if you’re too green to know it’s Turquoise, you’ll make me blue.” Get it? Color blog?)

2. You absolutely HAVE to stop at the Tinkertown Museum.

The Tinkertown Museum is a collection of the 40 years worth of wood carvings, circus relics and kitschy coin machines made by artist Ross Ward. Oh, and, guys, it was featured on MTV.

Remember on MTV Cribs when a celeb like Busta Rhymes or Xzibit would show us their king-size bed and say something like “here’s where the magic happens?” Well, Tinkertown is where the real magic happens. It proves once and for all that Xzibit didn’t know what the BLEEP he was talking about (Parental Advisory: Explicit Content all up in this mutha-bleepin’ blog!).

Anyway, more about the Tinkertown Xzibit…

Inside the Tinkertown museum, you can feed quarter-machines that will then play music, predict your future or set off some vibrant Appalachian scene.

Maybe if you feed these guys an extra quarter, they’ll take requests and play “X Gonna Give It To Ya.” We know that’s DMX and not Xzibit but honestly it’s a really good song.

Maybe if you feed these guys an extra quarter, they’ll take requests and play “X Gonna Give It To Ya.” We know that’s DMX and not Xzibit but honestly it’s a really good song.

There’s something to look at in every bleeping corner of the Tinkertown Museum. The walls are made from salvaged glass bottles (looks like Ross Ward knew how to party. Where’s his MTV Cribs episode?).

Plus, one of the most charming parts of Tinkertown is all of the signs. Their tone matches the kitschy atmosphere of the whole exhibit (Xzibit) but also adds a moody flair that most teenagers would kill to have.

PS: Did you guys know that there was an entire MTV series called “MTV’s Teen Cribs?” Couldn’t you totally see an emo kid screaming that quote about the undertaker to his mom and telling her to “stay the hell out” of his room because that’s where the magic happens? Even though the magic could never happen there unless he’s talking specifically about Magic: The Gathering? 

Spotted: this horse at the Tinkertown Museum. So tired, you could never pimp this ride.

Spotted: this horse at the Tinkertown Museum. So tired, you could never pimp this ride.