PANTOMERICA

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Blackwater Falls

Color 26, Color 54, Color 51Maggie Owens1 Comment

What we learned at Blackwater Falls in West Virginia: 

1) "Moss can be a lot brighter of a green than you'd expect!"

2) ^^^ that's a really dorky thing to be shouting to your friends right before you trip on the moss and fall ass-first into the water. 

3) Rachel has to try a lot less hard to look indie than Maggie and Ceil do. 

Ceil giving it her all. 

Maggie trying really, really hard. What is this? A senior portrait? 

Rachel giving minimal effort, achieving maximum indieness.

She even looks indie when almost falling into the water.

But, for the record, it wasn't Rachel who 100% fell into the water. 

... It was Maggie. You all already know it was Maggie so what's the point. 

Animal Stuffin', Good Lovin' Joe

Maggie Owens1 Comment

Disclaimer:  

We were leaving Yellowstone when we drove through the town of Dubois, Wyoming.  We saw a roadside sign for a taxidermy shop.

What we thought would be a gruesome adventure into Wyoming mountain life turned out to be quite the opposite.  Instead of finding gross shit we found Joe.  Joe is hot.  And actually there was a lot of gross shit but joe was really hot so we kind of didn’t notice.  Maybe he was skinning a mountain goat before our eyes.  We didn’t really know what was going on.

Tessa was so smitten by him that she forgot that she hates guns.  In fact, she thinks their perfect for each other and they’d be able to, in her words, “work it out as opposites.”

While he rifled through the pages of his taxidermy catalog, showing us false deer and moose eyes he would order and later shove into the skull of so    me dead animal, our eyes were fixed on his. In fact, our eyes probably looked as googly as the fakes ones in the catalog did. 

Each of us stood in his sexy little murder den fantasizing about him being her boyfriend. Like, maybe he’d send me flowers or win me a big stuffed bear at a carnival. Except, I guess, in his fantasy, it would be a bear that he shot, dragged back to his workshop, skinned and stuffed himself. Swoon!

Long story short, our pictures of him are blurry. A girl can’t be expected to focus her lens or her mind with such a foxy fox-murderer around? Did we just take women back 50 years? Somebody shoot me. Joe? 

Name: Joe

Hometown: Dubois, Wy

Profession: Taxidermist.  Being an avid hunter, Joe originally got into taxidermy because he couldn’t afford a taxidermist.  He started as an amateur and then began going to taxidermy shows around the area.  After a series of white ribbon awards he decided he needed to improve.  Joe is now the owner of Windy Mountain Taxidermy in Dubois, and his shop is filled with expertly stuffed animals.  

What’s the craziest thing you’ve stuffed?: “I’ve done a monkey for a zoo.”  Joe has also stuffed pythons for zoos.  

Craziest thing in the shop:  Buffalo penis that he turned into a walking cane.  Probably not the biggest in the room, am I right, Joe?

Fave Color: Green, like a plant green.  The kind of green you hide in when you see a bear.  (Joe has, in fact, faced a bear.  Joe is incredibly nonchalant about this fact).  

Name of your hunting dog: La Dee Da(😍😍🔫🐕🔫😍😍). Must Love Dogs? Check! Must Kill Elk? Check!