PANTOMERICA

Seeking Color In The US

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Pickin' Up Dudes At The Presidential Wax Museum

Color 2, Color 52, Color 51Maggie Owens1 Comment

Fuck Mt. Rushmore. The place to go for all the hotties with actual bodies (forget stone floating heads) is the Presidential Wax Museum in Keystone, SD. That's where we went to go pick up some dudes to see about getting some presidential D. 

Tessa wasn't overly excited (or as overly excited as we were) and we could hear faint complaints about white, sexist imperialist history coming from her as we ran into the shop. We were all "History? What is his-story? Is he single? Did he ask about me?" (Insert your Millard Fill-More-Condoms joke here). 

It should be noted that Ceil, as we are writing this, thought Millard Fillmore's first name was Grover and she said "I don't know any of their names. I was too busy sucking dick in the locker room in high school." It should also be noted we went to an all-girls Catholic high school.

So while Tessa was grumbling in the gift shop, we cruised the strip to check out all of the executive hotties that the White House (1600 PEENsylvania, Washington DC) had to offer. 

Boxer or brief, commander in chief? The people need to know!

Wanna cuddle, Teddy Bear?

Sun's out, guns out. 

And, honestly, look at our competition. We got this in the bag:

Jackie looks like Josh Brolin had a baby with Josh Brolin. 

Dear future employers,   Maggie did not engage in this kind of activity. Especially not with Jimmy Carter.

Dear future employers, 

Maggie did not engage in this kind of activity. Especially not with Jimmy Carter.

Eh.. honestly, these guys were too stiff (but not in the good way), so we got bored and eventually it turned into this:

In conclusion, we should inform you that Tessa was, in fact, the only person to get a real human's phone number.

His name was Joey and, while we don't know what his favorite color is, we do know his favorite president is Warren G. Harding because he was a "mac-daddy." Here is photo proof:

Tess did it the old-fashioned "flirting" way. But, you know what we think? Well-behaved women rarely get to make out with history. 

Wild Wild West, Jim West, desperado, rough rider

Color 7, Color 36Maggie OwensComment

Our first night in Wyoming was spent at Terry Bison Ranch, a 27,500 acre property with its very own herd of bison. 

hippiebus.jpg

Here we found a 7 foot statue of a jackalope, a mock jail and a saloon where people smoke in-doors over a full plate of food. Goodbye Southwest — we’re in the Wild West now. 

gun store.jpg
tess jail.jpg
Ceil, Maggie, Tess

Ceil, Maggie, Tess

How to "dress" for "success" in the "Wild, Wild West"

How to "dress" for "success" in the "Wild, Wild West"

The official credo here is “At the Terry Bison Ranch, Guests, Employees and Animals are #1. This begs the question, who ranks at #2?

At TBR, you can take a 2 hour train tour, a self-guided ATV tour or even a horseback-riding tour to explore the grounds and come face-to-face with a real American bison. Or, if you’re self-obsessed and poor, you can just walk around taking pictures of yourselves like we did. 

If you get a hankering for breakfast food / eat breakfast at noon when you’re all to hungry and irritable to even speak to each other, you can do what we did and eat rocky mountain oysters in the saloon. Nothing like putting out a cigarette and finishing your bull testicles. 

By the way, if you didn't realize the title of this blog post is a lyric from Will Smith's "Wild, Wild West,"No you don't want nada, None of this, gun in this, brother running this." 

Snow Drawings Sonja

Maggie OwensComment

Name: Sonja Hinrichson

Hometown: Oakland, CA (by way of Germany).

Profession: Artist.  Currently in her third residency at Anderson Art Center in Snowmass, Co.  Sonja creates large-scale, completely impermanent and completely beautiful design patterns over huge tracts of untouched snow all over the world, including Colorado, New York and France.  She invites volunteers to help her creates the stunning designs, captures them with aerial photographs, then allows them to be completely overturned by nature. 

Briancon, France

Briancon, France

How She Got Started With Her Snow Drawings: During her first residency at Anderson Art Center in the appropriately named Snowmass, she borrowed a pair of snow shoes and went walking around.  She started noticing patterns she created against the snow like on a blank canvas so she started goofing around making patterns with the shoe prints.  

Soon she began taking photographs of the patterns, and began noticing different light patterns such as shadows within the imprints, or the sun beaming straight in.  She then began playing with angles, light, and shadow through photography.  

Her inspiration came from the huge, untouched, pristine snow spaces found in Colorado.

Eychauda, France

Eychauda, France

How did you start taking photographs of these large-scale works in the snow? 

During a residency in Steamboat Springs, Co, a local pilot offered to fly her up to photograph her snow patterns.  So began the aerial photography and the help of volunteers. 

What unforeseen problems did you come across as you began to create more of these snow prints? The first few times were definitely a learning process.  “Sometimes I would do a whole piece and then realize that there was no place to photograph it,”  joked Sonja. Issues like this are the nature of her work. For example, there is always a chance that a project won’t work out because of weather, which happened in Finland.

Ooms Pond, New York

Ooms Pond, New York

On The Help From Community Members, Volunteers and Strangers: Being as large scale as they are, her works began to take on the nature of a community project.  She began having volunteers help her create the large scale patterns.  She started by having about 8 or 9 volunteers, but now has up to 70 people helping over the span of a project, often 30 to 50 people a day for a 2 or 3 day weekend.  

“Starting from the weather to the people, I don’t know who my participants are, so its truly a community project.”

Snowmass, Colorado

Snowmass, Colorado

She has works that allow her volunteers to roam through the snow freely, but she also organizes volunteers to work in patterns.  “It’s almost like a performance- knowing what steps to take, never crossing each other.  If you sped it up it would look like an organized performance.”  

She says that it’s about an environmental experience for the participants.  “It’s a long process, and you really tune into that one space.”

She says emphatically that her works is “really about the participants, in the moment.”

Snowmass, Colorado

Snowmass, Colorado

How do you feel about the inherent nature of impermanence in your work?

“I am immaterial in my life too, not a big collector of stuff.  I don’t think we need to add more stuff to the earth.”  

She says that European magazines that have done write ups on her always nearing up Land Art.  “They do not understand Land Art.  This is not Land Art.  I do not want to add any material.  In my work nature takes it back completely.  The only documentation is photos and the peoples’ experience.”   

She says the her snow designs are a “combination of appreciating art work and the nature that it is in.”

Hayden, Colorado

Hayden, Colorado

The Role Color Plays In Her Work:

She says that the pure whiteness of the landscapes she works in is an important element in her projects.  The white makes it possible to play with shadows and light.  Imprints either reflect the sunlight or cast a shadow.  She reiterates that she didn’t really think about it at first, and that it all sort of just started out of play.  With the scale and organization that she now works in, “it’s like painting with natural light.”  

She also mentions that much like so many other uncontrollable factors, colors often come into the pictures by accident.  It could be a lone standing tress, a person still walking their way through the pattern, a ski lift, or a park sign.    

While working on a commission in France, they took a shot of the snow pattern that had a bright orange restriction sign in it.  The arts commissioner hated it, and wanted the sign to be edited out. 

“For me, those little splotches of color are interesting.”  She explains that these “mistakes” can help express relation to scale.  She enjoys photos that are completely abstract without those kinds of modifiers, but those little spots of color have the ability to show human smallness.  “That’s where real color comes in- it’s fragile and small but important.”  

Catamount Lake, Colorado. The appearance of color is totally dependent on the time of day. This is when the sun beams directly into the grooves, creating a "white ink" effect.

Catamount Lake, Colorado. The appearance of color is totally dependent on the time of day. This is when the sun beams directly into the grooves, creating a "white ink" effect.

Catamount Lake, Colorado. This is when the sun hits the drawings at an angle and casts a shadow into the grooves, creating a black mark effect. Playing with light, time of day and angles of the sun is how Sonja interacts with color in these works.

Catamount Lake, Colorado. This is when the sun hits the drawings at an angle and casts a shadow into the grooves, creating a black mark effect. Playing with light, time of day and angles of the sun is how Sonja interacts with color in these works.

What is your favorite color?  Green.  She is a nature fan, and an environmentalist.  “I barely have any green clothes,” she laughs.  “This is my first time here in summer and my green receptors are over stimulated.”

What color reminds you of Oakland?:  Blue, because of the blue sky there. 

All pictures of Sonja's snow drawings were collected from her website. Do yourself a favor and check it out at http://www.sonja-hinrichsen.com. 

"We're the weirdos, mister."

Maggie OwensComment

As the basic bitch Robert Louis Stevenson once said, "there are no foreign lands. it is the traveler only who’s foreign.” He then likely pinned a picture of a coconut bra to his Treasure Island Pinterest board. 

Oh but isn’t he right, though? About the ultimate punchline of traveling? People’s ways and customs might seem strange, but they’re not strange! We are only made strangers by distance and borders. Travel is the only true way to bridge that gap. Oh, how charmingly wondrous the world can be!

" Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others."    -Basic Bitch Robert Louis Stevenson, "Divine Secrets Of The Yaya Sisterhood"

"Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others."

-Basic Bitch Robert Louis Stevenson, "Divine Secrets Of The Yaya Sisterhood"

ceil across river.jpg
" We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best we can find in our travels is an honest friend."    -Basic Bitch Robert Louis Stevenson, "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants"

"We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best we can find in our travels is an honest friend."

-Basic Bitch Robert Louis Stevenson, "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants"

" A man cannot destroy the savage in him by denying its impulse. The only way tog et rid of a temptation is to yield to it.”    -Basic Bitch Robert Louis Stevenson, "Fifty Shades Trilogy"

"A man cannot destroy the savage in him by denying its impulse. The only way tog et rid of a temptation is to yield to it.” 

-Basic Bitch Robert Louis Stevenson, "Fifty Shades Trilogy"

… Unless you get so bored in Boulder that you put on a trash bag, draw a tic-tac-toe board on your face and block bicyclists from enjoying their normal bike path. Then, yah, you’re weird and even the welcoming hippies of Boulder will shout at you something along the lines of “move, bitch, get out the way.” 

TL;DR: Robert Louis Stevenson is one basic fucking bitch and all people from Boulder are Ludacris.

"Two Basic Bitches" or "Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde"  -Originally conceived by Basic Bitch Robert Louis Stevenson

"Two Basic Bitches" or "Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde"

-Originally conceived by Basic Bitch Robert Louis Stevenson

Tinkertown Lynn

Maggie OwensComment

Hometown: Albuquerque, NM

Profession: Lynn operates the gift shop and ticket booth at the Tiinkertown Museum at the base of Sandia Mountain in Albuquerque.  She has been working with the museum for many years, though she spends half the year in Mexico.  Let me repeat — this woman spends six months of every year operating a museum dedicated to eccentric americana and the other six months of her year exploring what Goop.com reviewed as “Central America’s Indiest Country” (2013).  Is Lynn the ultimate hipster?

Favorite Color: “Yellow.  I love all bright colors.  I love all the primary colors.”

What role does color play in Tinkertown?:  Lynn says that color plays a huge role in the attraction of the museum.  Though Tinkertown features all things american kitsch, it can sometimes feel likea tribute to the classic American circus and all of its puppets, props, and wacky details. “The circus has the best colors,” she says, and Tinkertown features the whole spectrum of the circus aesthetic.  

The museum also gives off its own color, mostly because of the salvaged glass bottles that line the walls.  Lynn personally loves the way the light catches all the greens of the bottle walls.  

What colors remind you of New Mexico?:  Brown.  “Comedians came and did shows in New Mexico and made fun of how Santa Fe is nothing but different shades of brown.  But I think our brown is a real asset.  Its a cultural aspect to make us different from people in the East”.  

She says that despite the overwhelming amount of brown shades spread throughout the state, “color is actually a huge thing here.  You won’t find many people who don’t have an opinion on color.”  She pointed out that the state gem of New Mexico is turquoise.  Lynn knows a lot about gems.  Gems are hip. Lynn is hip. Get with it. 

Color in Mexico:  “Color is a major part of my life,” she says, and explains that it’s a huge reason why she spends half her time in Mexico.  She loves the color splashed all over the country.   Especially the reds, blues, and turquoises.

Insert Your "Going Nuts" Pun Here

Color 28Maggie OwensComment

One more thing about Alamogordo. We visited the World's Largest Pistachio. 

Right next door was a pistachio-themed gift shop. Centerstage was the most delicious pistachio brittle you could ever imagine sampling. Somehow we spent a total of 4 minutes marveling at the sheer stature and size of the world's largest pistachio but we spent AN ENTIRE 40 minutes sneaking more and more samples of the pistachio brittle.

It got a little pathetic actually, like the scene in a cartoon where some desperate character keeps returning through revolving doors wearing different costumes pretending to be a different person. 

Yep, we "looney-tuned" this shit. But that's what you get when you have a cartoonishly large nut outside your front door and magically-delicious pistachio brittle waiting inside. 

Hot Springs Chantal

Maggie OwensComment

Name: Chantal

Hometown: Truth or Consequences, New Mexico.  Chantal is a native or T or C (which is what the locals call it). 

Occupation: She works at Blackstone Hot Springs Motel.  She and her husband also run a youth skateboarding competition here in town called the Fiesta State Competition.  

What colors remind you of New Mexico / T or C?

She immediately thought of the color of the infamous New Mexico sky.  We talked about how difficult it is to explain how or why the sky here is different.  “It’s bigger,” she says.  “When I go other places I never seem to notice the sky, but every time I come back to New Mexico the first thing I notice is how wide it looks, how it’s just a blanket over the whole world.”  

She also thinks of the green up on Turtleback Mountain.  “When I think of the colors of T or C, I think of the colors the mountain experiences through the motions of the sky”.  

How do you think Truth or Consequences celebrates color?

She explains that there is a natural artistic tendency in the town.  She says that the people here, “create art just through caring about the community and giving to the community. “  So many people here just allow anyone to paint a mural on the side of their building.  

By allowing artists to express themselves, they become a part of the artistic process.  “The spirit of letting people exist is what brings the colorfulness to the town”.  

Favorite color: Pink. Duh.

Crystal Vortex Allyn

Maggie OwensComment

Name: Allyn

Occupation: Works at the Sedona Crystal Vortex, a metaphysical store in Sedona, Arizona. The shop specializes in rocks, minerals, aura photography, psychic readings, lifestyle and more rocks and minerals. 

Favorite Color: Pretty much all cool colors: greens, blues and purples. Today she was wearing green because she wanted to correlate with her heart chakra (which is represented by green). 

Philosophy On Color: Everyday she makes the active choice about what color(s) she wears / puts on her body according to what chakra(s) she would like to activate. She says people make these daily decisions unconsciously, pointing out that we were both wearing blue and that that meant we wished to express ourselves (conjuring the throat chakra). She also pointed out a man driving a bright yellow Jag down the streets of Sedona, saying he wished to conjure his Solar Plexus / third chakra. This meant he was trying to rev his self-esteem. (If you think about it, this makes sense. He probably had no self-esteem. Please refer to our future blog post about mid-life crises. If we still haven't written it, please refer to our future blog post about procrastination). 

On Canines and Color-Crystals: Allyn has two dogs who also benefit from aligning their chakras with crystals and colors. Her long-hair chihuahua uses crystals for his soft skull. She says she can see the benefits already and her veterinarian gives her two thumbs up. Her older dog suffered from low self-esteem when the chihuahua moved in. The chihuahua apparently was the hot new piece around town (probably seen cruising Sedona in a yellow Jag). Crystals quickly boosted the old dog's self-esteem. There's always room for two in a yellow Jag. 

(As always, please check out our Interviews page for all of our profiles of the colorful people we meet on the road). 

AURAn't You Glad You Paid $60 Dollars For That Photo?

Maggie OwensComment

You probably know Sedona, Arizona for one of two things: 

1. It acts as the backdrop for cowboy movies and barbaric Looney Tune chase/murder scenes. 

2. It's a new-age retreat where you go to get your fortune told, purchase some much-needed magic crystals and get your chakras balanced.

So this is a place where middle-aged women come to reconnect to their 60's hippie days after selling out in the 80's and 90's. It's also where the Roadrunner reconnects with his inner-asshole and outsmarts a god damn coyote every day. It's a strange place. 

Anyway, we decided to go with the second route and get our auras photographed. Aura photography is a special kind of photography that captures the current state of your emotions, thoughts and energies. It can help you discover what you have going for you spiritually and what you have to work on. It's also another way to compare yourself to Gwyneth Paltrow. Here's Gwynth's aura photograph:  

Gwyneth Paltrow's aura photograph, as is described on her lifestyle blog Goop, is mostly violet expect for the perfect, radiant yellow halo above her head. She describes this further, saying "So in color psychology, yellow is fashioned after the sun-it’s easy-going, expensive, creative and it also indicates intelligence. People say, ‘Oh, they’re so bright." 

... So pretty much, Gwyneth's aura photograph proves she's perfect

Our 10 page individual aura analysis indicated that we are perhaps, not perfect.

Ceil's photograph revealed she has a yellow aura. 

Maggie's photograph showed she has a yellow-orange aura. 

Ceil's yellow aura shows her to be "lazy and unmotivated, having no energy to live, create or enjoy life." After seeing Gwyneth Paltrow's immaculate aura (🙏🏻), we decided to consult her lifestyle blog in order to find guidance and become more balanced, Goop-like beings. We concluded that Ceil is in desperate need for GP's personal Brain-Activing Adaptogenic Drink. 

Find the link here: http://goop.com/recipes/gps-brain-activating-adaptogenic-drink/  Or kill yourself.  🔫

Find the link here: http://goop.com/recipes/gps-brain-activating-adaptogenic-drink/

Or kill yourself. 🔫

With just a few simple ingredients, including Mucuna Pruriens and Brain Dust (not a joke), Ceil can be on her way to a motivated and active lifestyle.  Thanks, GP.  

Maggie's orange-yellow aura shows her to be challenged "to go new ways, to accept new ideas or patterns or to encounter the unexpected." Consulting Gwyneth and Goop, we found a section entirely for expanding your horizons in the form of bucket lists. The most helpful and realistic would indisputably be 10 Bucket-List Italian Hotels. 

Yes, that means if you're in a rut like Maggie, you should simply check into somewhere like the Capri Palace Hotel and Spa. Really, there's no excuse for someone to be stuck when a place like this exists:

" The food is delicious (the on-site restaurant has two Michelin stars), the spa is fantastic, and you can walk down the hill to get sandals handmade in Capri at the city’s best shoemaker."    -GP

"The food is delicious (the on-site restaurant has two Michelin stars), the spa is fantastic, and you can walk down the hill to get sandals handmade in Capri at the city’s best shoemaker."

-GP

Or you can stay in a Lighthouse in Sardinia. Or an 11th Century castle on the Amalfi Coast. Just get off your ass, you stubborn Orange-Yellow assholes!

Here's a guide of all aura colors; 

Where do you fit in? How are you imperfect compared to Goddess Gwyneth?

Also, Bonus Goop article, where to get your vagina steamed, according to Gwyn. Find it here. (We're looking at you, violet-aura douchebags with your "universal flow!") 

 

 

 

 

 

Debby Rico

Maggie OwensComment

Name: Debby Rico

Location: Niland, California

Occupation: Selling snow cones to overheated tourists in the Californian desert. She moved to the desert from Pamona, California ("to get away from our kids," says her husband Richard) and found herself incredibly bored. That's when she came up with the whole snow cone idea. "It's perfect so long as I don't sell anything that the general store across the street sells."

Favorite Color: Blue. It just always has been. But, even though she loves blue, her favorite snow cone flavor is not blue raspberry. It's actually a mysterious flavor called "Tiger's Blood" with a splash of pineapple right on top. It's also Richard's favorite flavor. In fact, he wants people to try it so badly, he offers just about everyone a bite from his personal snow cone (until Debby reminds him to "think of hygiene"). 

Check out the rest of our interviews (including Allyn, whose dog has self esteem issues) on our Interviews page! 

Let's Talk About What Happened In Palm Desert...

Maggie OwensComment

Last night in Joshua Tree was pretty traumatic. Needless to say, we didn't get much sleep. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation but the next couple of days in sunny Palm Desert got a little funky. 

This is what people think of when they think of Palm Desert:

This is what OUR Palm Desert looked like:

Was it all just a mirage?

Are we idiots?

Scary In Solvang

Color 60Maggie OwensComment

Solvang, California is this mock-Danish little village off of Highway 101 that is too idyllic and pleasant to be real. It's kind of like Disneyland for adults (or, really, Disneyland for adults who don't love their children enough to actually take them to Disneyland). 

We genuinely couldn't believe one place could be this cheerful and adorkable. Like, you know when Zooey Deschanel gets home, she sets down her half-asian ukulele and takes a huge dump, right? Because no one can be that pleasantly quirky 24/7? 

Well, apparently Solvang can. We couldn't find one unnerving scene or sketchy corner in the whole damn Danish town. Apparently, the last time Denmark had any dark fun or gossip floating around Ophelia was found face-down in a river. Floating! Ophelia! Puns! Look Ma, we're quirky too!

Well, for two girls with a color blog we wear a lot of black. A teenaged girl behind the counter at a technicolor ice-cream parlor asked us if we were "drama kids." Because we weren't wearing pastels and we weren't smiling at strangers.  

Yep, that's us. Just two goths with a color blog!!

TOO GOTH 2 BLOG. TOO GOTH 2 BLOG.  TOO GOTH 2 BLOG.   TOO GOTH 2 BLOG.   TOO GOTH 2 BLOG. 

TOO GOTH 2 BLOG. TOO GOTH 2 BLOG. TOO GOTH 2 BLOG. TOO GOTH 2 BLOG. TOO GOTH 2 BLOG.