PANTOMERICA

Seeking Color In The US

cars

Do You Know What This Is?

Maggie OwensComment

Just as we were noticing our amazing luck at being on the road for a couple months through several states without even any car trouble, this strange looking thing came out of left field.

We had finally made it to the great state of Rhode Island (FINALLY!!) when we heard loud metal clanging at the back of the car.  After a few miles of pretending like neither of us heard it, we finally pulled over to inspect. 

What we found hanging from the bottom of the car is pictured above.  In spite of the wide range of car knowledge we both accumulated while being chauffeured everywhere by Maggie’s dad from the ages of 14 to 25, we didn’t have a clue what this could be! 

We stood there blank faced, waiting for our "ask the audience life line" like Dev Patel in Slumdog Millionaire.  (I guess that could have just been a Who Wants To Be A Millionaire reference, but I’m a really big Dev Patel fan). 

Go figure, our lifeline never came, and we were left to our own devices to figure it out.  But, as you know, two heads are better than one, which is clear from this list of things we legitimately thought it could be:

  • the engine
  • something that is definitely a part of the car, but it's really not that important so sometimes it just falls off like an umbilical chord

  • like, the “essence” of the “car”

  • nothing?  possibly?  I don’t know. 

  • the smoke monster? I’m starting to give up

  • the other half of the plane

  • Jacob

Does anyone actually know what this is??

Grand Canyon Ron

Maggie OwensComment

Hometown: Citizen of the world / originally from San Diego. 

Occupation: Citizen of the world / bartender at the Grand Canyon. 

Favorite Color: Used to be red because of the Corvette he had as a wild young teen. He totaled that car about three times. His favorite no longer is red. His favorite color is now Xanterra green. He says it's because of the great out-doors but we know it's really because it's the shirt he wears to work / is legally obligated to wear because of his employer Xanterra. Xanterra owns all of the hotels, bars, gift shops and humans inside of every US National Park. I have to stop writing about Xanterra now because I know too much and they'll come after me. 

Life Philosophy: He says every young person should work in resorts and national parks and never settle down. He hopes to see us working behind a bar in Sun Valley or the Grand Tetons in a couple of years. He also said no person, young or old, should ever go to El Paso. We haven't yet been employed by Sun Valley but we did go to El Paso almost immediately after this conversation. Sorry Ron. Sorry Xanterra. 

Fun Fact: Ron was once in the military and was stationed in Germany (specifically the Rhineland). He remembers fondly how easily the Germans would outdrink him and leave him passed out in various fields. He's not an army man any more but now instead fights exclusively in the frontline of the Xanterra New World Order. Please burn after reading.

In this photo, Ron is holding a bottle of wine from Grand Canyon Wineries. The vineyards are not actually in the Grand Canyon (that would be a stupid thing to ask, right? Really? Shut up). They're not in Arizona at all. They're in California. I smell a Xanterra plot fermenting...

In this photo, Ron is holding a bottle of wine from Grand Canyon Wineries. The vineyards are not actually in the Grand Canyon (that would be a stupid thing to ask, right? Really? Shut up). They're not in Arizona at all. They're in California. I smell a Xanterra plot fermenting...