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Lana Del Rey

Awesome Party In Williamsburg

Maggie Owens2 Comments

We couldn’t visit New York without going to a fucked up, hipster after-hours in Brooklyn.

Thin men in large hats? I don't think we're in Kansas any more, Toto... because we're most definitely in BROOKLYN! The bigger the brim of the hat, the bigger... the appetite for learning artisan trades! Look at this party animal cobbling his own shoes. 

Check out these completely unironic glasses Ceil picked up, inspired by Benjamin Franklin!  

Flower crowns galore, y'all. And since when did the mop hat come creeping back into fashion? Don't bother asking this dynamic duo if they have a solid hook-up for molly. They'll just try to send you to "sister Molly over yonder churning butter," whatever the fuck that means. 

Damn, Rachel. Where'd you get that mop hat? That was quick! 

Like a true Brooklyn party, this was the place to SEE AND BE SEEN. Boundary-defying fashion to your left and to your right, the people watching was supreme. It had us asking questions like a) how is it possible to dance all night in a floor-length apron? b) why is everyone wearing pioneer clothing? c) are you guys sure we're in Brooklyn? 

Okay, okay... it's clear now. We were most DEFINITELY not at a warehouse party in Williamsburg, but rather a daytime tour of Colonial Williamsburg in Virginia. This... this is embarrassing. 

Yikes... Someone should tell Rachel. She's turnt. 

Fun Day Trip Into Kentucky

Color 60Maggie OwensComment

On our drive from Indiana to Ohio, we were pleasantly surprised to find out that Kentucky was a 20 minute detour away. ("INDIANA AND KENTUCKY TOUCH?"  two of us asked. One was a beanie baby. The other was Ceil). Being the carefree indie girl Lana Del Reys that you know we are, we were all "fuck it. let's go to Kentucky."

We could have spent a day of natural splendor at the Daniel Boone National Forest but... hiking? Nature? BOONE THERE DONE THAT. So, being the intellectual Lana Del Reys that you know we are, we spent the day at the museum. The Creation Museum. As in Creationists. As in dinosaurs died in Noah's Flood Creationists.

Things when from 0 to Kentucky real fast. 

... Me neither, Timmy. Me neither. 

Here we found Adam and Eve bathing. All the while we're paying for their god damn original sin by being at this terrifying museum. 

Okay, over-sexaulized wax figures of Adam lookin' like Wilmer Valderrama are one thing but what the what the hell is this? We don't even know what this exhibit was supposed to be about. Shit was getting scary and I think we blacked out.  

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Seriously, guys, we blacked out. We honestly may have tagged this wall. Or maybe it was part of the exhibit. There's no way to know. Whatever. 

Don't worry about it, man. We're not picking up what you're putting down. 

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Umm... I guess this is the part where we're supposed to color match things? Maybe? Kinda? God I'm so confused and scared. 

^^^Maggie at the Creation Museum. 

So, keeping with the Old Testament theme, here's a picture of the two of us as the distraught, sad girl Lana Del Reys that you know we were that day, cast forever out of Kentucky. 

Bad Blood National Park

Color 9, Color 10, Color 48, Color 16, Color 50, Color 6Maggie OwensComment

We were in the most beautiful place in South Dakota: The Badlands National Park.  It was stunning. Everything was cloaked in a soft yellow light. Deer were prancing around. Honest to God, it was a God-Damn Lana Del Rey music video. Honestly to Lana Del Rey, it was godly. It was hard to take our eyes off of it. 

THANK GOD / LANA DEL REY CUZ WE SURE AS SHIT WEREN'T GONNA LOOK AT EACH OTHER. 

...See, none of us remembers why now but we were all in a fight. Tess vs. Maggie, Maggie vs. Ceil, Ceil vs. Tess. It came to a fever pitch when we shared an appetizer trio at the local bar right outside the park. 

We pretty much ate our microwaved appetizers in silence and, I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a T.G.I. Friday's commercial, but that is no fucking way to eat appetizers. Do you know how awful it is to bite into a mozzarella stick that still is frozen in the center and have to silently chew it because you’re friends  are being equally as icy?! IT’S TORTURE!

We got back to the camp just in time for the most beautiful sunset we've ever seen.

Jesus! Pop a Midol, Mother Nature! I'm trying to be passive aggressive towards my friends which is really hard to do with such aggressive beauty in my face.

"Hell is other people," she thought. "Hell is other people and uncooked mozzarella sticks."

"Hell is other people," she thought. "Hell is other people and uncooked mozzarella sticks."

"I'm a sad girl / I'm a sad girl" - lyrics from the Lana Del Rey Song "Sad Girl"

"I'm a sad girl / I'm a sad girl" - lyrics from the Lana Del Rey Song "Sad Girl"

We ended up all separating. I won't say who did what exactly but one of us went for a hike, one of us ran off with some cute Israeli boys with man-buns to listen to music and drink whiskey and one of us wandered around looking for enough cell service to look up if there was an ACTUAL T.G.I Friday's around. (PS: if you're wandering around the Badlands and you see a mirage of a Friday's, is it technically called a CGI Friday's? Can someone get Michael Bay on this? He owes me one. He'll know what I'm talking about).

In all honesty, The Bad Blood National Park was so spectacular and vibrant, it's something everyone should see in their lifetime, no matter how stubborn and pig-headed their loved ones are. 

In the end, we all made up and THIS IS NOT A STOCK IMAGE I SWEAR.